Beauty from Ashes

It’s all about the Great Romance. This one nothing and no other is our heart, is what we were created for, what we were made to live and to die for. This one thing and no other. If only I could get ahold of that, truly internalize it and comprehend it, what would it change? How would it turn my life upside down…if I truly knew that love?

This love story is what all of history points to; from creation, where we were made to love, to the cross, where Christ gave us back the ability to fully love and know His love again,  to the coming marriage supper of the Lamb, beginning our eternity as His beloved bride. The Great Romance is everything…because not only is it the only message of all of the world’s history, it is each story individually. Your story. My story. The story of your best friend and the story of your worst enemy. The story of someone who means the world to you, and the story of the person who broke your heart. All unique, yet with a common thread running through each one.

It is a love story beyond imagining, the most beautiful one that could ever be. It is the story of a God who made us to love Him, one who is the greatest lover of all. One who made us because He longs for us to love Him…because our love is so valuable to Him that He would not force it, but wanted us to choose to love Him freely.

His love is passionate, desperate, beyond reason and beyond measure. We are—I am—His dream come true. That’s a really strange thought for me. So often I see myself as not good enough and not worthy of love, but the one who is love perfected disagrees. He is so crazy in love with me that He pursued me when I rejected His love, turned my back on Him, and broke His heart.

He had no obligation to chase after me and try to recapture my heart. But it was never about obligation. He was a lover heartbroken that His beloved had run from Him…a bridegroom heartbroken because His precious bride had chosen another and rejected His love.  But instead of leaving, giving up, and being angry, as He had more than every right to do, He ran after me. He pursued His beloved to the gates of hell and back again. He fought and won against death itself—all for my love. How could any love story be greater or anything more romantic than that?

For my love. The one thing He was desperate for, and the one thing He would not and will not compel. This one thing and no other. His heart and His greatest desire is for His love to be returned. That I will taste and see that His love is good, and not choose any other over Him. That I will see that I have captured His heart and won His love, and give Him mine in return. He is a jealous lover who will let no other take His place in my heart—but He is my more than enough.

I can’t quite get the words to say what I want them to; there is no way I could even begin to describe His love, and His desire for my love, for your love, for the love of each and every person He has created. It seems so fundamental. Of course a lover would desire to be loved in return. But when the thought first struck me that not only does God love us, but His greatest desire is for us to love Him and return His love, it stopped me in my tracks. That made His love real to me in a way I had never seen it before, and it is this one thing and no other that sums everything up: I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. And we love Him because He first loved us.

What follows is something I wrote two years ago, slightly edited. Parts of reiterate my previous post, parts are new thoughts. Enjoy this rare occurrence of two posts in one day!

Easter is the most joyful day of the year for me, as a Christian. It’s like knowing a secret the rest of the world does not know. We know that we have reason to hope! Our Lord has defeated death! But to arrive at Easter Sunday, we have to first go through Friday.

Friday has precious little reason for hoping. Imagine, if you were a follower of Jesus in His lifetime, what “good” Friday must have been like. Seeing your reason for living, dying. Your Savior cursed and mocked, scourged and bruised, dying the worst death possible. Where is there any reason to hope in that? How could there be anything but despair and anguish?

Sometimes we would prefer to gloss over Friday. Skip the pain, go straight to the celebration. We know that Christ has risen, and would prefer to think about that because it’s much more pleasant. But Jesus’ followers then couldn’t do that. Jesus had told them what was going to happen to Him, but they didn’t understand. They didn’t know about the joy of Easter morning. It had to have been heartbreaking, to believe and love Jesus, and in one day to see your greatest hope destroyed.

Even after Friday is over, Saturday still has to be dealt with. Saturday’s numb despondency is not the raw despair of Friday, but is almost worse in its own way. The grim reality, or what appears to be reality, sets in. He’s dead. There’s no way around it, no way out of it, nothing that will change it. With Saturday comes the horrible idea of shaping your life minus the One who had become its center. You can’t imagine how to live without Him, but no longer can you be with Him.

Imagine, out of this most hopeless of situations comes the greatest hope of all. The unfettered joy of Sunday morning! That’s what Easter Sunday means, more than anything else at all. Joy! A joy the world doesn’t know, cannot know. We know something they don’t! Our Savior defeated death, once and for all broke the power of the grave, opened the chains of sin, and trampled the enemy under His feet! He provided the way for us to be with Him, and that is the secret the world doesn’t know. Jesus’ followers weren’t aware of it either, at first. Coming to the tomb early in the morning, they believed Him to be still held by death. If the joy is so great for us, imagine what it must have been for them! “Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen!”

I think Easter is my favorite holiday. To be perfectly honest, at Christmas or Thanksgiving or any other holiday, I would miss the trappings if they weren’t there. Important as the “reason” really is, I would not like to do without the presents and the dinner and the decorations and all that. But for me, this day is different. You could take away the candy, the baskets, the bunnies, the festive dinner–all of it!–and it would still be the most joyful day of the year!

Why? Because there is nothing that can compare to the knowledge that our Lord has conquered the enemy! He has defeated death itself, that which seemed so powerful. So final. So unalterable. But He broke it, conquered it, trampled it under His feet! He holds the keys of death and hell now, and death is swallowed up in victory!

It is the most central aspect of our faith; as Paul says “And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins!…If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable.” (1 Corinthians 15:17, 19) If one were to stop there, life would be hopeless and our celebration of Easter as the resurrection day would be a ridiculous mockery! But that’s not the end! The next verse continues: “But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.” And therein is our reason for hoping. That is what sets us apart. Not only did He die to free us from our sins, but He rose again to bring us life, and life more abundantly!

Christ is risen! Alleluia!

I have lost count of the number of times I’ve been recognized by people I’ve never met! When I’m out shopping, customers where I work, and most recently, the receptionist at my eye doctor! I had never been there before last week, although my mom and several of my sisters had. I walked in and told the receptionist who I was. But when I did, she told me “I knew who you were the second I saw you!”

Why? Because I look and sound so much like my mother. I’ve heard that so many times that I’ve lost count of them as well! But this time, it got me thinking.

If I can be recognized as my mother’s daughter as soon as I am seen–if people who hear and see me hear and see her, instantly, without my having to say anything–how much more should I be instantly recognized as a daughter of the King? Do people see Christ in me as easily as they see my mother in me?

That’s how it should be. It should be so obvious that I am a follower of Jesus that I don’t even have to say it. Christ in me should shine through so evidently as to be unmistakable. Not flashily obvious, from trying too hard to show something that isn’t really there, but so naturally and irremoveably a part of me that He cannot be separated from me. To be perfectly honest, that’s not where I am right now. But by God’s grace, it’s what He will be continuting to make me.

This is a test post. My deepest apologies to anyone who may have seen that I updated, and is now disappointed to see that there is nothing really new.

I know you’re all worried about me since I haven’t posted in almost two months now. Saying that makes me realize just how long it has been! I do apologize…

Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my mind, and a few different posts that I’m working on. They’ll see the light of day eventually! For anyone who doesn’t know, I’ve also signed up for the Thomas Nelson Book Review Bloggers program, which will force me to update a little more often! I promise it won’t be another two months until my next post here.

I AM …a daughter of the King, a servant of the Most High God, and one who was once broken but has been made whole.

I WANT…to have my Lord at the center of my life and spend my days seeking Him. But I fall so far short.

I HAVE …more blessings than I can possibly count.

I WISH I COULD … do better at communicating the love of Christ to others.

I HATE … injustice

I FEAR …what others think of me

I HEAR … the argument in my mind between truth and lies

I SEARCH …deeper.

I DON’T THINK … I will ever be a supermodel.

I REALLY … only have one concession to fashion or trendiness. Flip flops!

I REGRET … the time I wasted not trusting God.

I LOVE … my Jesus but I know He loves me more.

I ACHE FOR … those who are hurting.

I ALWAYS CRY … when I remember.

I AM NOT … the world’s most talkative person.

I DANCE … old fashioned dances. Square dancing/English Country dancing is fun!

I SING … more than I used to.

I NEVER … want to lose my sense of wonder.

I RARELY … wear pants. I am most definitely a skirt girl.

I CRY WHEN I WATCH … moments of pain or joy, in movies or in real life.

I AM NOT ALWAYS … good at communicating my thoughts.

I HATE THAT … I’m not perfect!

I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … what I should be doing at this time in my life.

I NEED … to know that I am loved.

I SHOULD … get something to eat before my next class or else I won’t be able to concentrate.

Might as well jump on the bandwagon!

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? A lot of junk. But since I don’t have my own car, and I usually drive one of my family’s vans, it’s not my junk and therefore not my fault!

2. When was the last time you threw up? Last fall when I had a nasty stomach bug.

3. What’s your favorite curse word? I don’t curse. I do say bother, however…that’s pretty much it!

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Michael, Kevin, Moreso, my brother Chris, most of my sisters…ok, that’s more than three, but who cares?

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping!

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Eating lunch

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? Good question. I’ll get back to you in 4 hours. [later] I was baking.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? No, and I doubt I ever will.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? Poor Abby

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Coffee, peppermint, pecan praline

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

12. What are you wearing right now? Green skirt, blue shirt …white flip flops…glasses…two hair pins.

13. What was the last thing you ate? Macaroni and cheese

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No

15. When was the last time you ran? Yesterday

16. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Women’s gymnastics

17. What’s the last thing you attended that required a ticket? Hmm…I think it was when I went to see Prince Caspian a couple months ago

18. Who is the last person you emailed? Someone I met at camp. I was sending her pictures.

19. Ever go camping? Yes, tents and cabins

20. Do you have a tan? *sigh* No. I don’t tan. I either remain very pale or turn bright red. It’s not fun.

21. What do you prefer: Natural Sun or the Tanning Bed? Um…never having used a tanning bed, I’d have to say the sun. Not that it works for me.

22. What’s the best way to tan? You’re asking me? See above…the best advice I can give is to not be me.

23. What’s your favorite drink? Probably water.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? I don’t drink pop.

25. What did your last IM say? “I’m trying to decide what I should work on next

26. Are you someone’s best friend? I don’t know. I hope so. Maybe. *wonders*

27. What are you doing tomorrow? Working

28. Where is your mom right now? Running errands

29. Look to your left, what do you see? A printer

30. What color is your watch? I don’t have a watch. My cell phone substitutes when necessary. It’s pink.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia? People I know who have visited there, the 2000 Olympics, the Great Barrier Reef, Australian accents, Adventures in Odyssey, and more. But I’ll stop now.

32. Would you consider plastic surgery? Probably not

33. What is your birthstone? Peridot

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? I almost never eat fast food.

35.How many kids do you want? A houseful! As many as God sees fit to bless me with.

36. Do you have a dog? Yes.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone? My mom

38. Have you met anyone famous? Um…my uncle once dated Madonna’s sister…does that count? I’ve met my state representative…and Kevin!

39. Any plans today? Nothing very exciting. I’m enjoying my last week of relative freedom before life gets crazy!

40. How many states have you lived in? Two. Michigan from 1989-2006, and New Jersey from 2006 onwards.

41. Ever go to college? Not yet. I’m going to take a couple classes starting next week.

42. Where are you right now? At the computer! Which happens to be in my kitchen.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? People who read over my shoulder! (you do mean right now, correct?)

44. Last song listened to? Darkest Hour, by Rescue Music

45. Is that your favorite band/singer? They’re pretty high on the list

46. Are you allergic to anything? Chocolate

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? I don’t have one favorite pair…but I love all of my sandals/flip flops!

48. Are you jealous of anyone? Yes…sort of, anyway.

50. Is anyone jealous of you? I honestly have no clue.

51. What time is it? 1:53 EDT

52. Do any of your friends have children? None of my close in age friends.

53. Do you eat healthy? Yes but we could have a long discussion about whether many things that are commonly considered healthy really are, and whether some things that are commonly considered unhealthy really are!

54. What do you usually do during the day? Play the piano, read, cook, clean, spend too much time online, work, knit…to name a few.

55. Do you hate anyone right now? No.

56. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily? If not daily, then almost daily. Although…don’t tell anyone this…sometimes I say “hi” instead.

57. When? Generally upon greeting people.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 20

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? I have not. And I don’t really care to go, either.

60. How did you get one of your scars? It’s really stupid. I was cutting/serving a pie, and the spatula had a really sharp edge…I cut myself pretty badly.

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