I always have conflicting emotions with Dekker novels. On the one hand, Ted has set the bar so high that my expectation for a mind-blowing story makes it difficult for me to be impressed. On the other hand, I am so excited to be reading another Dekker novel, that even if it was a 200 page treatise on the history of the paper clip, I would still pour over every word.

My expectations for Kiss were normal. I really knew nothing of the book other than the prologue chapter I had read in the back of Sinner. No, I take that back, I really had a bit higher expectations than normal. Kiss was purportedly a shift back to Ted’s pre-BoHC novels, with themes in the vein of Blink of an Eye, Blessed Child, and The Martyr’s Song Series. I was also hyped because his co-author Erin Healy, was his editor for many of these pre-BoHC books. So when I finally received my copy, I was ready to dive into it, eager for the story that God had laid on Ted and Erin’s hearts.

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Shauna McAllister just wants to forget. Her life to this point has been filled with pain. The death of her mother. The subsequent rejection of her by her father. Her physical and psychological abuse at the hands of her stepmother. She had lived a life of pain. And her father had caused it. All Shauna wanted to do was to deal with her past, get justice–or was that vengence?, and move on with her life.

In one fell swoop, she discovers what it is like to forget. Evidently she was in a wreck. Evidently she caused it. Evidently she was under the influence of drugs. Evidently, she seriously disabled her brother in the wreck. Evidently, she was being indicted for reckless driving and the semi she hit has already collected over a million in damages from her father. Evidently. Because she can’t remember. Anything. At least not from the past six months.

As she returns to try to put together the pieces of her life she discovers that her accident–whatever she did–has certainly not strengthened the frayed and strained ties that bind her to her family. Her father, Presidential nominee Landon McAllister, will not forgive her for all but killing his favorite child. Shauna’s only ally is the man who was evidently her boyfriend–maybe even more–Wayne Spade. As she gets closer to Wayne, she realizes that the accident–or her experimental medication–has left her with an interesting ability: under certain circumstances, she can take people’s memories and make them her own.

Piece by piece the gaps in her past are roughly filled in by the memories of others. The truth of her last six months is becoming clearer and leaving her more confused than ever. Everything she thought she knew is being turned upside down. But only the truth can save her. Only the Truth can set her free.

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The thing that impacted me the most about Kiss was that the theme is nearly autobiographical. Ted has often been criticized for his novels that revel in darkness before showing the light. His most recent movie House was lambasted by the Christian critics for this very reason. Kiss is a story of why we must remember darkness and evil. It’s not to remember and glorify and uphold the pain. It’s to bring us perspective. Without the pain, we wouldn’t be who we are. We have to keep it in perspective, give it credit for the better person it can make us, scars and all.

When the Israelites left Egypt, they were not told to forget their bondage and only look forward to the Promised Land. Rather, God commanded them to remember they were slaves in Egypt. Remember the bondage. Remember the pain. Remember the suffering. But Israel chose to forget. As they wandered through the desert they lamented of their terrible plight. There was no water to drink. There was only manna to eat. The journey was too hard. At least in Egypt they had water and a variety of food. They forgot about their bondage. And what happened as a result? They forgot about their deliverance. They began to no longer care for the One who had delivered them.

Only if we hold on to a strong remembrance of our bondage will we also maintain the sense of wonder and awe at our deliverance. We diminish the power of God when we diminish or forget our bondage. Using Ted’s words, it “would undermine the great victory won by our hero in His majestic defeat of this terrible villian called evil.” His character in Showdown, David Abraham makes the same point, “How dare a child of God look away from the pain of evil–doing so undermines the grace that conquers evil.”

Dekker and Healy leave us asking this question: Pain…or Perspective. Do we forget the darkness we are in? Or do we remember it vividly in order to never forget the greatness of our deliverance? Too many Christians find themselves forgetting. They have learned everything about God and forgotten everything about deliverance. But the newly reborn Christian will be overflowing with enthusiasm. Because he still remembers the darkness he was pulled out of. May we never forget the depths of our sin and depravity, and by doing so make the cross of Christ to none effect.